Ok so now we have 72 hours to have medical records looked over and to accept the child as ours.
So I sent the file over to the heart surgeon. It seemed like forever as I was waiting for him to call me back but it only really took him a couple hours to get back to me because he was in surgery. He explained to me alot of things I really didn't understand I just really wanted him to say this was a correctable issue and move on.
He actually told me from what he can tell if his heart issue was the only problem he was a keeper. My heart just jumped for joy. But them he said he had a concern. He said he was concerned about his measurements. He was in the 3rd percentile for weight. his head circumference and length I think were in the 20th percentile. The doctors concern was that he may be a failure to thrive child. Or that there may be something else wrong with his heart that is causing him to not put on weight. So he referred me to a pediatrician that would better understand the growth charts since his specialty was surgery.
After talking with the pediatrician she had the same concerns . She did say that it is normal for children in an orphanage to be behind in their motor skills and growth so it was hard to tell. The adoption agency said the same thing. I really felt like I couldn't get a definite answer on if this child would be ok. We had to take a step of faith. I prayed saying God you have brought us this far. Please make it clear to us that this is the little boy you have planned for us.
We ended up paying to have him reevaluated by a doctor in China. It just didn't seem right. In the pictures we received he did not look under weight. He didn't look like a failure to thrive child. A lot of people were telling me that the kids they adopted from Asia were all very small but they ended up being fine. I wanted so bad for that to be true about this little boy. Everything seems to be so right leading up to him. I told Ryan when we get the update we need to see that he is putting on weight but if he is unable to sit on his own we may have to think about weather he is the one. In his referral he was assessed at about 8 months old. he was only able to push himself up while laying on his tummy for about 10 seconds now he was a year old could 4 month make a difference? With this medical update they send pictures as well so we can see if he looks drawn out or if he looks like he is thriving. So we waited. in the mean time we sent him a cake to the orphanage for his birthday. They sent us pictures!!!
I was so excited in most of the pictures he looked good but he was always sitting on a nanny's lap and she was helping him eat. This didn't look to good to me. Then there was a picture of him sitting holding the toy we got him. But when I looked at the picture it looked like they had him propped in a corner to support him. My heart sank. I didn't know what to think all I could do was pray. I really didn't want to deny this little boy he melted my heart every time I looked at his picture. But I also had four other kids to think about. I really don't think I can handle a child with a major disability and give my other four children the attention they needed. Now I know God won't give me anything I can't handle so I just needed clear direction from him. So I prayed "God please give me a clear picture." My exact words. I went on with my day with a heavy heart I thought I would just have to wait for the medical report. We should get it any day now.
I was sitting on the floor folding laundry when my phone rang it was Ryan. I had sent him the pictures earlier in the day. He said wow those are great pictures and he's even sitting up on his own. I said no Ryan look closely they have him propped up in a corner . He said "no you look closely, on one side of him is a mirror and if you look in the mirror he is not supported by anything." "Trust me I already thought of that." so I ran and looked at the picture again and He was right!!! I can't even tell you how excited I was and I said "God I ask you for a CLEAR PICTURE and You literally gave me a CLEAR PICTURE!!! looking back I literally feel like a leaf blowing in the wind. Why does my faith waver? God is clearly showing me and Ryan this is what he wants for our family and I Keep questioning Him. I'm such and unworthy soul and yet He still loves me and reveals Himself to me and allows me to raise His children. Why? I don't know. I have no word to express my gratitude toward Him! Oh How He Loves Us!!!
Well a couple of days later we received the medical report he was gaining weight, it said his heart condition remains the same and they sent us a picture of him sitting on a riding toy. I just couldn't believe it. All the walls I had put up to protect my heart just crumbled. This really is our little boy! :) So we signed our Letter of Acceptance and continued with the waiting game. We had to wait for things to process, apply for our VISA, apply for his VISA, and some other things and then we just had to wait for our Travel approval.
Our projected time frame was that we would probably travel in the middle of January if things went smoothly. As Christmas started to get closer I started to get anxious. I started thinking of all the different thing that could hold up the process. Christmas, New Years, and the Chinese New year which falls at the end of January and goes for a week or so. If anything held up the process then we would have to travel after Chinese New Year which would be the middle of February. Now to you it may not seem like its that big of a deal waiting a month longer. But to me that means one more month that I miss out on our little boys life. One more month that he will not have to get stronger and develop like a normal child would. One more month for him to be without a home. One more month taken away from all of us as a family.
Well here we are and it's January and it's been snowing like crazy. Ryan is working around the clock. There are some other stressful things happening in our lives that I believe once again Satan is using it to try to steel our joy. I was just telling my sister things will probably get held up and maybe it's good because of all the things that are going on right now. Guess what the next day I got the call. We got our travel approval! which means we will travel within the next two weeks. I was at the rollerskating rink with the kids when i got the call so I had to call the agency back. Once I was able to talk to her in with out all the loud music she told me two things could happen. We need to get an Embassy appointment Jan 27,28,or 29th if we get one of those dates we fly out Jan 17th if not we have to wait till after Chinese New Year and fly out February 7th.
This is all in Gods hands. He knows what Ryan needs. He know what is best. We will have to wait until tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest to see if we go Jan 17th or Feb 7th. Please Pray that it will work according to His will. I know it will but I still like to pray for it anyways.
I hope you will join us in prayer on the rest of our journey. Pray for our safety. Pray that our little boy will adjust well. Pray that he has a peace when he is with us. Pray that Ryan and I will know how to meet his needs. Pray for our kids as we are away that they are healthy and that the time we are away go fast for them. They will be in good hands but I do pray for their hearts. Pray that God continues to move in their hearts that they adjust well to the changes. Pray that we all bond as a family. Pray for our two dogs that they don't send me over the edge and I get rid of them ha ha J/K
Till the next post goodnight:)
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